Really gone

As the date of your birthday nears...reality dawns. You have moved on and ...your existence has moved to one beyond this earth.

Somewhere far off , above the clouds and beyond the big blue horizon, I pray you have reached a peaceful haven secure and safe....you have passed on to IA a better place. Where to and how I can only imagine. I pray silently and inwardly everyday ...that this new dwelling is a blessed one where all your dreams will come true and where all your fears will never be able to touch you again.  It surprises me sometimes to think we didn't actually know each other that long but.. time had nothing to with our bond and friendship.I saw you as someone I would come to rely on, trust and over time become closer to.Conversations still feel alive. Sometimes I think the phone will ring and you will be on the other side...

 I wonder if you ever look out and feel when someone is thinking of you. Do you know how deeply you have affected the lives of people you have left behind? Left behind in the land of the living...Do you feel the distance or their longing? Do you know how sorely you are missed? Do you know how blessed your presence was and how you passed on a great positivity? You have left conversations that cannot be compared to others and words that will be remembered for a lifetime.This prayer is a continuation of something I dedicated to you on this very blog ...when your passing was more recent. It has been many months now but still the realisation that you are "really gone" hits hard and paralyses for a second or two. I sometimes have to consciously remind myself that you are "gone" and that prayers for your prosperity in this world are meaningless. Prayer should now be directed to your here-after. You were so very young. That is it more than anything. The fact that you had everything to live for. A full and what seemed like a joyous life ahead to live. I guess what hurts is that Allah knows best. Allah only knows why your time here on this earth was cut short the way it was. It wasn't cut short really...you were only meant to be here for a short time...Were you a gift and a blessing that was meant to teach me to appreciate the shortness of this life? How we should never take things for granted and how each second here is a continuation of Allah's endless mercy. I pray for you all the time and my Ramzaan was full of your wisdom. 

When life still ran through your veins you once said how much you were looking forward to Ramzaan this year. You never got to see it. You passed away before that. But, with me you left your wisdom , your positivity and a deeply entrenched presence. I miss you my friend. If you do by some chance ever happen to see me or feel my sadness over your demise..I hope you realise how much you were valued and still are. I cannot think of your parents and the family that lost you. It takes too much and I don't think I am strong enough. I only think of how you affected me And how I have lost you. I pray for you and hope one day to meet you again in a place where pain , waiting and sadness cannot touch our lives.

May Allah be kind to us all and keep you forever safe from harm ...wherever you are. Let it be known that you are still dearly missed.