Life

I want to feel each emotion to the fullest, love, pain, anger, confusion -everything-listen more and say less, fall in love with words again and read books that never interested me , swim in deep oceans to be surrounded by nature in its purest form, listen to the voices around me rather than ignore them as noise, hike up treacherous mountains, get soaked in the rain just when i've changed, travel to unseen places, spend more time with myself, give more than I take from my friends, care illimitably,walk alone for miles with my mp3 player, I want to laugh until I have tears in my eyes -all to live again. I want to be more then I ever thought I could be...

I am completely bowled over by how people change. One minute your best friends and the next your measuring your words and trying to be diplomatic. Where does this all come from? It's frustrating and in most cases an act of self preservation. We dont want the person opposite us -the opponent to be able to see how weak or vulnerable we truly are. We know if we expose exaclty how we feel -it may be used to play us or be used for anothers gain-leaving us out in the cold. I want to truly understand this phenomenenon-of being two very different people. A different person when you share the same space but a different person when distance and a lack of communication share that same space with you. It's a deeply fickle act -constantly changing and eliminating certainty and stability. We fight it every day but soon it consumes us -like it has people before us and while we refuse to be called hypocrites -and while we fight to show how strong we are to the world -we are still learning and ...