Life

Waiting has taken on a new name. Its beginning to take its own shape and form and develop a personality. It has a mood and comes and goes as it pleases. It teases from a far and tempts with tasters. Singledom has never been a very fair game -especially when marriage is on the cards. I believe we are all destined to meet our other halves. This is not inspired by a bollywood movie even though I am a zealous fan. No-this is based on islamic views. We are all made as pairs and I am waiting to be united with my other half. Have I miss read the signs and passed them on or have I just not opened the door for them to enter. Have I already said no to someone I should have said yes to or have I become overly picky. Is wanting the same values and decency you expect from yourself in another person unfair? Is it asking to much or is it prolonging an already difficult decision. There isn't a lack of men or a lack of women but their is a lack of compatibility. I am astounded by how many single p...

On this road of endlessness I have come to a conclusion. The night merges into the day and the day into the night. My time isn't my own its a corporations. On the journey to success somewhere I have lost perspective. I want to hold on to now -when I am young and energetic but at the end of the day -the darkness of my room before sleep engulfs me is my only haven. No time but this -in the dark where the shadows play -am I truly in charge of my own time. Only this is my own. This is the only place where I ever hear myself breathe.

I want you the way you are.How do you do it? Your patient in trying times and grateful in the worst. Your my strength when I most need it and your endlessly knowledgable. You read and dream just like many out there-yet you harness that energy to play a fundamentally positive role in society. I wonder if you know what you are-at present your a journey...one I started a long time ago. You arent a part of my life in any capacity but a dream and I continue to believe in limitless opportunties. When we meet it will be for now ,today and tomorrow. If we can build on the strengths we have and accept eachothers fault -may be in this highly charged world -we can create a better place.

A short interval between the next word or the next person. She says more and she says less. He doesnt say anything but what is best. What best suits the moment and what best suits his need. They both endlessly try to please. She isnt who she used to be and he isnt the one she married. He longs for the excitement they had long ago -but now as age and experience make them wiser and older -they have eachother-if nothing more a companionship-a painting of patience and acceptance

Incredibly cold. The glistening rain drops as they gather on the windscreen.Thoughts take you deeper and soon you dont see the road only the lights and sense the movement of the car ahead. Your careful as your programmed to be but your actually outside the car-somewhere far away. Where work isnt as hectic and life is just that little bit slower. Where you have time to spend the whole day in a coffee shop with great conversation and endless caffeine. Where the dwindling day light doesnt make you restless and where a holiday isnt something you yearn for the whole year. If life was just that little bit different-that wouldnt be enough either!:P

A crowded room and loud voices. A narrow clearing -the slight gap between two people and that one face. It is but all I see. The crowds dont seem as heavy and the voices arent as loud. This face isn't new its one I know. A distant memory from the past. As the distance lessens I am once more blessed by their presence. Time stand still -I want to live ...let mine be that-which I had thought I would never feel again.

For my breath , my time and my experiences. You bless me limitlessly and I still find it hard to turn up my hands in prayer. Forgive me for my naivity and my not understanding the shortness of my time. I am but human and my mistakes endless. The saddest thing of all is that if life were granted to me again I would probably make the exact same mistakes -and still know I hadn't Thanked you enough. Allah forgive me for all the mistakes I have knowingly made and the mistakes I make without realising. I need your help as I am weak -nothing in this world is mine in reality-it is all yours -everything I am is because of you -and still I go on living like this life is mine for the living.

Lists of qualities and superficial attributes. The judgement is honest but pale. What the other is saying is fringed with want but not entirely clear.Time is a series of steps taken towards another of analysis and decisions. A coffee going cold in a bustling cafe and the clock watching person staring outside. Distrations engulf from all direction but their eyes only focus on one. The one demanding, waiting, patience and deserving your full attention. They dont smile at you or acknowledge your presense until the distance between them is of a minimal kind.

I am but a collection of my values. If mine are the same as yours then there is a way forward from here but -if there isnt common ground -lets part with dignity-no blaming and no finger pointing -lets mature with our experiences and realise how far we have to go -and if the pivot of our lives is leading us back to a path we have taken before -is life being kind or leaving us blind. I am but a collection of my values-they make me who I am-if I change them for you-I exist as not what I am but as someone I once was.

Warned of consquences from every action and still no learning. A hidden meaning in the discerning. Be free of generalisations and what the other wants -think for once where you're heading and how near the destination lurks.

Move on from distance, move on from ignorance and move on from a lack of recognition. When your destination isnt the same -move on. Change what you want and it really is that simple. Move on to wanting new things!

A quietness-serene-almost dark. The breaking day light undressing the night. How wonderfully new every day and its opportunites. Lay still while it unfolds and it brings with it more and more. Breathe deeply and feel the light on your face -it makes shapes on the wall -like never before. Is this the beginning of the day or the end -both look so similar -is this me in my true reflection or another..

Singing through the lungs and breathing like a yogi-shudder in the light and drown in the dark -when there is no middle ground left -where do u turn but learn another way to survive-even drowning will teach new lessons. This doesnt make sense -what is she saying -she used to be wise but with time and age has become incomprehensible.

Endless thoughts of one goal and endless trying to achieve it. It twists this way and that and struggles to break free but everytime it manages to breath is taken down by another wave. Sheltered briefly by the sun it drifts far off under the shade of a near by ship. The ship races on and its left scorching in the wide ocean with no shade until the evening. Water surrounds it but drinking only increases the thirst -salty -but its still water -it will quench and make it delusional but its still water -endless thoughts of one goal and endless trying to achieve it.

I want to feel each emotion to the fullest, love, pain, anger, confusion -everything-listen more and say less, fall in love with words again and read books that never interested me , swim in deep oceans to be surrounded by nature in its purest form, listen to the voices around me rather than ignore them as noise, hike up treacherous mountains, get soaked in the rain just when i've changed, travel to unseen places, spend more time with myself, give more than I take from my friends, care illimitably,walk alone for miles with my mp3 player, I want to laugh until I have tears in my eyes -all to live again. I want to be more then I ever thought I could be...

I am completely bowled over by how people change. One minute your best friends and the next your measuring your words and trying to be diplomatic. Where does this all come from? It's frustrating and in most cases an act of self preservation. We dont want the person opposite us -the opponent to be able to see how weak or vulnerable we truly are. We know if we expose exaclty how we feel -it may be used to play us or be used for anothers gain-leaving us out in the cold. I want to truly understand this phenomenenon-of being two very different people. A different person when you share the same space but a different person when distance and a lack of communication share that same space with you. It's a deeply fickle act -constantly changing and eliminating certainty and stability. We fight it every day but soon it consumes us -like it has people before us and while we refuse to be called hypocrites -and while we fight to show how strong we are to the world -we are still learning and ...

All that glitters isn't gold. What seems like a perfect fit right now -only does so because of a collection of experiences that have shaped your decisions. Tomorrow when you look back this time will be surrounded by a cloud -flying over the horizon not to be seen again. As I near another goodbye, strength and wisdom force me to choose sides. Do I take the side of life and look to the future or do I take the side of fate and reminiscence. This decision isn't one I necessarily need to make right now-this time it will just happen-time and circumstances will change and you will stand facing another door waiting to be opened..

Time-change-stop -just for now -stop and maybe next time you can go at your own pace -just this once -stop

A dream on the verge of ending. Here it is -now forever -is a time that we will remember -and wonder how and why it passed so quickly -by the time we catch our breath -i'll be elsewhere and you wont be near. The clock hands move to quickly. This time when I want to stop it, it is slipping through my fingers like sand. A feel of loss and not knowing the future. A gesture of togetherness that I will remember with a smile tomorrow.

Our beliefs change so much with time. Living in the moment is paramount to truly appreciating everything that comes our way in life. A few years back certain things would never have been said or thought of and now I will hesistate, think and may dwell on certain decisions a while -but while the decision may be sensible it will open its arms to possibilities. If we havent breathed and felt all around us -have we lived-can we say we've lived? It is the single ray of light from the lighthouse that guides the lost ship on a carpet of black. I want to feel the intensity of life in my bones and grow old knowing I have lived. I want to remember everything, who I spoke to, when I spoke to them, where us friends met, where we ate, spoke and walked, I want to breathe in my experiences. Even with the short time given to us in this world -I want to feel and be felt.

As I sit here in the middle of the night resisting sleep and taking in a Democratic debate on CNN, politics consumes the mind. Politics comes into in all facets of our lives, be it in amongst our friends, family &or work. I am continously fascinated by the diplomacy most of us practice in our work places.We weigh and assess every word that leaves our mouths.Transparency into who each of us really is-is diminishing. While one person is working hard to assert themselves, another is trying to dissapear into the background only to reappear when they will be applauded for their achievements at a later date. The world is a stage and each one of us a pawn in a larger then life chess game.

Here it is again. He meets she and she meets he. Nothing there but a tremendous strain on time and effort from both sides. Is it really worth it or should I stop . Stopping is never an option. I can see positives in you so sit up & learn to always put yourself in the others shoes. What I thought was right -may just be and what you thought might also be -in our parallel universes-heh -fantastic -i love it -cause it annoys me so much -and it annoys me because I let it -fantastic because it makes life interesting. This continuous desire to find more then there was previously and less then was expected is taking its toll.

The last few weeks have been so hectic. I 've been in interview hell. No matter how many interviews you take and the count is endless that feeling in the pit of your stomach forms and lingers til the very end. I always thought by the time I was in my mid twenties (admitting that is not easy but I choose to be brave !) I would have my nerves pretty much under lock and key and for the most part they are but just sometimes I unfortuanely cannot go on being super human continously and have to realise that making mistakes is part of the package of being moi~. These past few weeks have been so full of "newness" that I have had to take a step back to catch my breath. I being me, love new things and the idea of change !I love newness so much that I think am becoming addicted to it. Somebody stop me! Ofcourse no one can really stop this addiction and while it steadily grows and is in danger of consuming me head first I choose to let it. I think it will push me to new heights and t...