Life

Another Ramzaan nears its end and the mind boggles ... Have I prayed enough?..Have I asked Allah to forgive me enough times to last me through the year? This blessed month will end and I will return to the usual being much too busy for "self preserving pure devotion".After all ..all my duas are selfish..for myself, my family ..my world..my existance. Multiple...hundreds of dua's gather in my head...almost not reaching my lips..they swirl around and gather momentum..they build up such a pressure ..that I break down. The dua's overwhelm ..and burst through a dam of insecurity.I surrender ..I fall and I raise my hands to the sky..to the unseen..to the invisible power that generously grants me my every breath... I request..I pray and I wonder..why wasn't this dua answered..what did I do ..or what could I have done...to make it happen for me. I foolishly think I had something to do with it ...with my limited human capacity! I have nothing. No control , no direction, no...

What is left it seems-A distant dream. Is this the way I chose or the path that was chosen for me. Turns and twists -the direction still unclear I am a collection of my wrong and right I wonder if we should have known Where we stand today ..individually -alone Our choices were fair..we were just.. but happiness was in this decision lost.. What made sense then ..doesnt apply now. A cloud of dust again surrounds. Sometimes I wonder what could have been then dawn breaks and its another day The brightness engulfs and I rejoice I listen and I question my mind continues its journey. It wont rest. It never has..it will contine ..until its last breath.

It tempts and it excites-fascination -wets my appetite...maybe this time the puzzles pieces will be fitting right... At another door. It opens..slightly ajar...a vision impaired...take a minute..even two... and decide. Once decided don't regret. ... Acceptance is key...we are indebted to the people who have wronged us.. for they make us stronger. The wonderous ways of life...when everything is right --but that one thing complicates... Contemplate the opportunities we cease to explore in the light of our own decisions.... Failure isnt strong enough to hold you back. It has experience and learning to compete with...The future is your decision -break the boundaries and forsake expectations.