I want one but not without the other

I want one but not without the other. Life and its binding elements of religion, traditions and finance. I want one but not without the other.

I want to be independant but dependant.How does that work? In my mind its crystal clear but I cannot explain it. How do I find what I am looking for without letting superficiality get the better of me.When I know its superficial yet so important? How do I make myself more human and less robotic.

I want one but not without the other. A long time ago I took the reigns to my dreams. I drove my own destiny and chose my own direction. Wanting a partner to share those reigns?That is a frightening thought indeed.Is it about control or letting go? Is it about getting to know you or letting you know me?

I want one but not without the other.I took the reigns and expect them to do the same.How can I work so hard to drive things and they let time decide their future? Yes we only decide our destinies partially.It is all Allahs will but our hardwork is the driver. I dont doubt their hardwork but where this hardwork will take them.Can I trust you to take the reigns with me and not from me?Can we share this experience without one doing all the work -will it be a partnership or my acceptance of your complacency.

Allah guide me for I am weak -my judgment naive.I submit to your control but that is the only one I will ever bow down to.